07 Oct 2000
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CLICK HERE TO READ LAST WEEKS ARTICLE ON: OVERCOMING OBJECTIONS:
FREE AGENCY
By Cordell Vail
One of the greatest gifts that God gave to us when we were born was free agency. It does not matter where you were born. It does not matter what culture you were born into. You still have free agency. Even if you are in prison you still have free agency to control basic decisions in your life. It is a gift that no one can take away from you. You always have the right to decide or make choices in some things, no matter what circumstances you are in.
It is true that your agency can for a time be limited or restricted by where you were born, what your cultural background is, or by your daily circumstances. Your agency to choose some things may be limited by your circumstances. But you still have your free agency. And using that agency you can change almost any circumstance you are in. You can decide to do it different and then make it happen, if you will. Even if it is just starting by making a better situation of the circumstances you are in, but in almost any case you are in, you can change the circumstances by exercising your free agency, if you are willing to do it.
This gift of free agency is so important in working with other people. It is one of the very keys to being a successful parent. It is equally important in being a successful manager or leader. Helping children or other people feel like they are in charge of their lives and helping them make correct decisions will do more to inspire them than anything else you can do. We see a wonderful example of that in Adolf Hitler who thought he could bully the German People into being the world's best and Winston Churchill who inspired the English to be the world's best even when they did not start out to be that way. Churchill called upon the free agency of the people to rise up and be their best. They rose to his expectations. Hitler tried to force the people to be the best and he failed in everything he did in the end.
As we work with other people in our lives it is so important to consider their free agency. If you are having a problem with this, it may help you in your relationships if you will ask yourself each time you communicate with someone else if that action was a Churchill action or a Hitler action.
When you are communicating with your friends, co-workers, family, especially children, you will find that they will respond much better to a Churchill person than they will to a Hitler person. When you are dealing with your friends or other people you associate with, if you are always trying to control them and manipulate them into doing things that you want to do, you will find that you will fail in all that you do in the end just as Hitler did.
This is as true in your family and it is true in business. As you work with people, be they your spouse, children, or co-workers, giving them choices and then letting them choose always works best over trying to manipulate. Let them have their free agency. Outline what you want to have accomplished, give your opinions as the leader, and then let them find the best way to do it. Try it see what happens. Let it become their business, their project or their idea and you will see miracles happen. Try to make them do it your way, when you want it, how you want it and you will get a dry bone as the result in the end.
When we work with others, we need to form alliances with them. Become their partner in decision making but never their "BOSS". We need to become partners not dictators. This works so wonderfully with children. When you show them the correct choices, then tell them to choose, and then trust them. Trust them! Let them make the decision that they think is best. And you will be surprised how in the end they will be loyal to your trust and you will be pleasantly surprised at the wise choices they will make.
One of the greatest gifts that my parents ever gave to me was trusting me. When none of my friends could take the car, my parents always trusted me and let me take it. When I asked to go somewhere they trusted me and let me go. And because of that trust, I became trustworthy. I lived up to their expectations. I find that very same principle works wonders with my own children and with the people that I associate with as friends, fellow employees and subordinates.
Free Agency! Trust! Those are powerful words that can have a great effect on your relationships if you will believe in the words and use them as more than just words, use them as guiding principles in your life.
Your millionaire in the making friend
Cordell Vail, W.B.
Helping you work at home so you can be
the parents of your children every day of the week